Let’s keep the love theme going for the month of February! I’m happy to share a guest post today that’s all about finding love in the face of adversity. You’ll want to hear what my friend and colleague, Michele Rosenthal, has to say about her own journey dealing with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

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How Following My Joy Led Me To Finding My Love

Sometimes in life, you really do have to, as Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Take me, for example. For over two decades I struggled with symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). As a teenager, I survived a rare, life-threatening illness and then, got stuck in a mindset that just couldn’t let go of trauma. Eventually, nightmares, insomnia, emotional numbing, avoidance, fear and anxiety took their toll on my health. Twenty-five years later, after years sitting in therapy waiting for my psychologist to heal me, I realized the truth: I would only heal when I decided to take responsibility for my recovery process. I had to actually do something.

I decided I needed to figure out what would make me feel better. My thinking went like this: I feel depressed and full of despair every day. What would I rather feel? The answer: ‘joy’. I wanted to feel joy so desperately that I would have done just about anything, including going out of my comfort zone to find it.

Once I decided the feeling I wanted to have, I set about finding it. Looking back over my life I realized that whenever I danced I felt an enormous, incredible feeling of freedom, transcendence and joy. So, I decided to dance, a lot. The only problem was, I only knew how to freestyle, which is what I’d grown up doing in nightclubs. In the small beach town in which I now live, however, clubbing every night of the week isn’t an option. I decided to learn to partner dance at a local ballroom studio.

Not having any formal dance background – and never having danced with a partner before – I walked into my first Argentine tango class not knowing what to expect and only knowing I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I took a deep breath, summoned all my courage, and stepped onto the dance floor. John, a man about my age, was the assistant teacher in the class. Since I was new, he was assigned to work with me privately during the class to bring me up to speed.

With brown hair hanging into cheerful brown eyes with lashes so long they curl up at the end, John’s eyes are set in a broad, round face with a perfectly straight nose. He has the sort of flat cheekbones that hint at some small degree of Native American heritage and skin that is smooth and tan. John’s about four inches taller than I; he leaned his head down until our faces were level and separated by only an inch. His eyes were so intense and impish and merry and full of happy life, I was completely distracted looking into them. I pitched my head a little toward him and returned his smile. When we settled into the tango embrace, John led me into the basic pattern. We danced holding each other’s gaze.

Forward, to the side, glide back, cross the ankles, we flowed around and around the rectangle of the tango basic step. John’s lead was gentle yet solid. He neither pushed nor pulled me around the floor, but lightly suggested where he wanted me to go. My body followed instinctively, not following because my head knew the steps, but because my body was inexplicably drawn toward this body leading it. We practiced over and over, each step bringing me deeper into the feeling of terrific happiness that I always found when I moved my body to music. By the end of the class I had gotten good enough at the basic step to join the group. I had also gotten very curious about who this John person was.

It turns out, John was curious about me, too. At the end of the class he asked to take me salsa dancing, which I didn’t really know how to do but was all too happy to have him teach me. A few weeks of spending time together on the dance floor built up a chemistry that led to spending time off the dance floor as well.

That was all five years ago. With John by my side, I’ve learned eleven different partner dances, accessed and thrived in my capacity for joy, performed and taught dance and in the process: developed a love and relationship better than any I’ve ever had. With a little help from a fabulous hypnotherapist coupled with a lot more work on my part (and support from John), I kicked the PTSD once and for all, too. Now, we still dance constantly and are choreographing and teaching my brother and his fiancé a tango for the first dance at their wedding this summer. Joy and love are so much more bountiful when we share and pass them on.

Michele Rosenthal is a Post-Trauma Coach and the author of Before the World Intruded: Conquering the Past and Creating the Future, A Memoir.

Find out more about Michele and her work at her Heal My PTSD website!

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Mal Duane has triumphed over devastating life challenges to become an Alpha Chick extraordinaire. After having struggled with alcoholism as a young woman, Mal now has a dream marriage, a highly-successful business, and as a certified Professional Recovery Coach, is deeply involved with helping women discover and use their connection with the divine power to redefine their lives and step away from their pain. She also serves clients through the multi-million dollar real estate company that she built from scratch. As she strongly believes in educating women, she built a school in Konjila, West Africa that educates a hundred students annually, and created Holly’s Gift, an educational assistance fund, which will receive proceeds from the sale of each copy of Alpha Chick.

Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power is a model for any woman who dreams of having happiness, success, and fulfillment. It clearly guides the reader step-by-step in the process of becoming her own unique brand of Alpha Chick, using Mal’s simple 5-step formula for self-worth, freedom and transformation. The book is coming to Amazon on Tuesday February 14th, 2012 – Valentine’s Day. Mal says, “I chose Valentine’s Day because I wanted women to give themselves the gift of self-love on that day.”

Yesterday, Mal visited Christiane Holbrook, where they talked on the subject of spiritual practices, helping others and from pain to power. Listen in HERE.

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Mal when I got to ask her some questions on gratitude, journaling and recovery. I hope you enjoy it.

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Sue Ingebretson: How do I keep clients (or myself) motivated to continue with gratitude journals? 

Mal Duane: To continue to stay motivated to write in your gratitude journal I suggest that you put the journal in a very convenient place where you are likely to see it before bedtime. The night table is a good choice.  You can also challenge yourself to come up with new things to be grateful for each night – even the smallest things matter.  I try to find five things every night. Just noticing these things can help bring a smile to your face and bring peace to your heart. I go to sleep feeling so good about my day and what I have in my life.

The healing effects of self-realization that come from journaling make the process well worth doing. It gives each of us an opportunity to speak our truths. Through the writing process we can then carry that to processing those truths in our lives.

Sue Ingebretson: I know you believe journaling can help in our recovery. What if we try to journal, but the words that come to mind are all negative (such as when we’re dealing with a chronic pain condition)? Do you think it helpful or harmful to journal these kinds of negative thoughts? 

Mal Duane: So much can be released through writing! Journaling is a step in recovery that allows us to identify where we need to make changes in our lives. If negative thoughts arise, that is great for cleansing the mind and the soul. However, it is very important that once you have written down that negative emotion, you release it. If it does not release upon writing it down, it may be time to meditate, or get in touch with your higher power. Then, switch gears and work on your gratitude list. Chronic pain can be very challenging. I feel you need to use journaling to monitor your improvements, even if they are small. Use it as a tool to record positive factors regarding a condition rather than negative. Even creating some positive affirmations that you can revisit will be helpful.

Sue Ingebretson: On that same theme, what do you feel are the most productive steps to BEGIN the recovery process?

Mal Duane:  You first need to be very honest with yourself and recognize that that you have a situation that has become unmanageable. When the quality of your life is being compromised by your desire to consume or do a specific thing, it is time to surrender and reach out for help. Remember, your identity is not solely tied to being in recovery. Everyone is recovering from something in these times. You need to accept your past mistakes and those situations which continue to cause you pain. By accepting you are not judging them as right or wrong, you are releasing your resistance to them.

For example, the first step in the five step Alpha Chick Process is Focus. I ask women to find a way to connect with their inner voice – their higher power. Whether it’s through meditation, prayer, or writing, I encourage women to take the time to ask themselves poignant and revealing questions so their subconscious can make room for the answers.  Transformation begins when you have the courage to honestly examine your beliefs and addictive behaviors – and this is what Focus is all about.

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Mal Duane and that you’ll check out her book Alpha Chick: Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power at ALPHA CHICK.

Here’s why:

 FREE GIFTS!

When you buy Alpha Chick on Tuesday February 14, 2012:

Author Mal Duane will give you over 4 hours of MP3 audio downloads from the Alpha Chick Telesummit recently held on February 7th, 8th & 9th, 2012

1. PLUS, Mal will send you an invitation to attend a special teleclass where she will personally take you through the five step process of transformation from the book
2. AND FINALLY… you’ll also receive a complete library of beautiful gifts from authors, speakers, coaches and other enlightened professionals from around the globe.

 To find out more about these gifts, and to request a “launch reminder”

so you don’t forget to pick up your copy of Alpha Chick on Feb 14th, go to:

http://alphachick.com/book-launch/pages/pre-launch.html

 Thanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

AND… be sure to follow Mal tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Charly Leetham, who will be interviewing Mal on the subject of women in business and their own personal power. To visit that “stop” on the tour, go to http://askcharlyleetham.com/book-launches/book-launch-alpha-chick-moving-from-pain-to-power

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Today’s post is quick and powerful. It’s likely that you’ve experienced unhealthy food cravings here and there. But … do you know why? Check out the Sources of Food Cravings list below and watch out — some sources might surprise you!

1) Thirst or dehydration

2) Micro-nutrient deficiencies

3) Personal physical contact lack or deficiencies (i.e. hugs, touches, affection…)

4) Binging or “falling off the wagon” with empty calorie “foods” the day before

5) Relationship worries or drama

6) Boredom or lack of focus (eating gives us something to DO right now!)

7) Avoidance/procrastination (eating allows us to avoid or put off what we don’t want to DO right now!)

8) Lack of regular exercise/fitness routines

9) Lack of regular stress relieving routines (prayer/meditation/deep breathing, etc.)

10) Emotional stress/reaction to a specific current event or incident

11) Habit

12) Lack of protein

13) Fatigue or lack of restorative sleep

Once you understand the source of your cravings, you can predict how and when they may occur. In other words, you can stop them in their tracks. You’ll be able to ….

Stop your cravings now!

Look for more in-depth information on these thirteen topics in future posts. And, have I told you lately that I love your feedback? Well, I do! Which item(s) on this list would you like to hear about most?

Tell me what you want to hear about and let me know what’s the source of your cravings!

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I just read a chat room thread yesterday that surprised me. I know it shouldn’t, but it did.

The person writing the question said that she’d tripped over a rug in her son’s room and fell. Later she was achy and sore and then a few days later, went into a full-blown fibro flare. She wondered if the flare was related to the fall.

I don’t blame her for asking the question; the problem is that she has to ask it at all! There’s still so much MISINFORMATION out there, that people really don’t “get” fibromyalgia and autoimmune/chronic illness responses.

In a nutshell, here ‘tis!

Anything that worsens your symptoms, can cause a flare.

Here’s a quick list of what may bother you and play a role in a symptoms flare:

1) Foods that don’t “feed” you (processed foods, fake foods, foods to which you have an allergy or intolerance)

2) Physical trauma (no matter how major or minor)

3) Unhealthy thoughts (what’s spinning around in your mind?)

4) Relationship difficulties (drama, worry, anxiety, etc.)

5) Lack of fitness/muscle tone (the body needs daily movement!)

6) External toxin exposure (pesticides from the lawn, laundry soaps, scented candles, perfumes, etc.)

7) Internal toxin exposure (dentistry, pharmaceuticals, immunizations, chemical dyes/food additives, etc.)

8) Infections (have you had a cold or flu lately?)

9) And, of course, an over-arching theme of stress…no explanation required

I’d like to note that it’s rarely one thing. We typically have some sort of “incident” that happens, but when we really think about it, we can see how a set of circumstances combined to cause the flare. In the instance of the woman mentioned above, her fall could definitely play a role in her symptoms flare, but maybe she was worried or anxious about something, too? After all, we’re more likely to trip and fall when we’re distracted or rushing around. In all likelihood, she had other things going on in her life that worked together to cause her flare.

Here’s another important point I’d like to make. A flare is one way that your body has to get your attention. A flare makes you slow down. A flare makes you care for yourself and get some rest. A flare is your body’s way of saying, “Are you listening to me?”

So … can we prevent flares? You bet! Take the first step and listen to what your body needs. Take care of yourself! Take advantage of what you learn each time you feel worse, and take the steps you need to make it better. Drink water. Breathe deeply. Do yoga and tai chi. Make sure prayer or meditation is part of your daily life. Care for your body, mind, and spirit. Make self-care a priority. In other words … don’t give the flare room to bloom.

Got a question or comment? Let’s hear it!

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Sharing Fibromyalgia Experiences: The Power of Being Social

The road to wellness for people with fibromyalgia is not easy. Hope exists, however, and the social missions of people who have experienced fibromyalgia offer promising models for others.

As you are likely aware, fibromyalgia is highly complex and can occur for different reasons in different people. The complexity of this condition along with the difficulty of coping with pain, developing a treatment regimen, and overcoming its debilitating factors pose major challenges.

Fortunately, shared stories of recovery and rebuilding wellness from the debilitating factors of fibromyalgia provide hope for others. These stories are an invaluable source for building strategies based on what has and has not worked for others.

The Social Advantage

People with fibromyalgia need not feel alone. With the benefit of learning from those who’ve been there, people currently suffering debilitating pain of fibromyalgia can begin creating treatment strategies to cope with pain, improve symptoms, and maximize well-being.

For example, The DOs and DON’Ts of Fibromyalgia provide a clearly articulated list to guide daily activities. Along with the book, FibroWHYalgia, more experiences and successful recovery stories are readily available as resources for health.

Social Outlets
There are a variety of options for accessing social support for fibromyalgia including in-person groups, and social media networking. Fortunately, online resources are abundant for locating social communities that meet your needs.

In-person support provides rich social interactions and is a high-quality source for establishing long-term friendships and bonds. A simple search for fibromyalgia on the website MeetUp, provides over 100 results for in-person social groups in local areas. There might be a Fibromyalgia MeetUp in your area!

Social media exponentially expands the availability of social resources related to fibromyalgia. Facebook, for example has vast communities such as the FibroWHYalgia community and Fibromyalgia Network. A search for ‘#fibromyalgia’ on Twitter results in resources such as people to follow and recent articles to read.

Finally, FoundHealth is a website dedicated to providing informative resources and community for individual experiences with health challenges such as fibromyalgia. The FoundHealth community features 12 integrative health treatments for fibromyalgia, and FoundHealth welcomes you to share your personal experiences related to fibromyalgia treatments.

The empathy and support of shared experiences empowers everyone in their quest toward greater well-being. Everyone with fibromyalgia can be an inspiration and a resource. Your story is vital. If you or someone you know has fibromyalgia, share with us: How have you developed supportive relationships on your path to wellness?

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I had such a GREAT time sharing healthy news and information yesterday on my Motivational Marathon call! It was a blast to be interviewed by Deb Scott and Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino. If you haven’t had a chance to listen in – catch the replay QUICK by registering here. It’s all free – no worries!

What’s great about doing these types of interviews are that I’m again reminded how hungry people are for the great news of health and healing.

It’s so amazing to experience the healing power of healthy foods!

What I wasn’t able to get to in the interview however, are two subjects I’d like to cover a bit further here. First, it’s the concept of upgrading our nutrition.

When it comes to being savvy consumers, want the best of everything, right? We often choose or at least want to choose the upgrade. We want the upgraded detail package at the car wash. We want to upgrade the carpet in our homes … upgrade our vacation packages … upgrade our choices in everything! Yet, why is it that we accept bargain basement highly processed products as the sum total of our daily nourishment? Is this really food? What are we feeding ourselves and our families? Don’t we deserve the best?

We all know we should be eating more whole foods, but what do they look like?

Whole foods are easy to spot. In a nutshell – they spoil! They can’t sit around indefinitely on a shelf. They can’t go forgotten in the trunk of your car and still be “good” weeks, or heaven forbid, months later.

The fact that whole foods spoil all by themselves is a good thing! Whole foods naturally contain the enzymes, fiber and everything they need to help your body break them down easily and efficiently. Then your body can absorb the vital nutrients they contain. That’s it – it’s really that simple. Absorbing the nutrients from what you eat (thereby building your immune system) is the job of the digestive tract and whole foods make that job easier.

If your digestion system is unhealthy – inflamed – it can’t do its job. That’s when symptoms appear and most of us are familiar with what that looks like — chronic illness!

Here’s the second thing I want to cover. It’s time to get back to the basics. Proper nutrition isn’t about taking away foods or denying yourself or starving. It’s about incorporating healthy, whole, natural foods into each and every meal. Simply make it a priority to choose to FOCUS on adding healthier foods each and every day. Plan to add whole, natural, nutrient-dense foods. ADD dark green leafy veggies. ADD nuts and seeds. ADD healthy fats – like olive, coconut, avocado or walnut oils. For that matter, eat the whole avocado. Splendid!

By the way don’t miss out on this all important nutrient — WATER! Simply put — replace unhealthy drinks with clean, pure, filtered water. Easy peasy!

By incorporating healthier foods at mealtime (rather than processed foods), you’re doing double duty. You’re providing your body with the nutrition it needs to heal all while replacing foods that tear you down. For quick results, incorporate foods that have abundant nutrients.

When I first researched the best foods to eat, I compiled a list that I now call “Sue’s Power Foods Cheat Sheet.” It’s just a list of veggies, berries, spices, etc. – that contain nutrient-dense and fiber rich foods. It’s not rocket science. I’ve included foods that contain abundant amounts of nutrients, antioxidants, fiber, folic acid, etc. Most foods on this list are so common they can be found in your average supermarket. They’re anything but common, however when it comes to nutrient content – they’re powerful super-foods!

As a suggestion, start your own powerful super-foods list. Try new veggies every week. Poke around at farmer’s markets. Strike up conversations with the produce managers of your local health foods store. That’s what they’re there for! If you’d like a copy of my power foods list to get you started, feel free to email me at Sue@RebuildingWellness.com and put Cheat Sheet in the subject line. I’ll make sure you get a copy.

Happy, healthy nutrition to you and keep me posted on how you’re doing!

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We know that we’re all in a hurry, right? We want to get the information we need, put it into practice and hit the ground running.

When it comes to nutritional advice, I’d suggest walking before running.

The problem is that we have a tendency to take the A + B = C equation too far. For example, if the super greens are good for you, then a diet solely based on super greens would be really good, right? Wrong.

Just because something happens to have nutritional benefits doesn’t mean it can be the sole basis of your diet. I’ve known people who learn that green smoothies are good (and, they are) so they have them every day – every meal. Not so good. I’ve known others who learn about the benefits of alkalizing foods so they strive to make every meal 100% alkaline.

Doesn’t this all sound like a lot of work?

What about weighing and measuring your food? That sounds like a lot of work, too.

- It’s a nutritional myth that what’s good in small quantities is better in large quantities.

- It’s a nutritional myth that the foods that work for others will work for you, too.

- It’s a nutritional myth that there’s one perfect diet to strive for 100% of the time.

- It’s a nutritional myth that eating well and achieving nutritional balance is hard work and no fun.

There’s no doubt that learning what foods work best for YOU takes time. Yep, it takes time to experiment in the kitchen. But, it’s fun to try new recipes! It’s fun to be adventurous with new foods and it’s enlightening to pay attention to how different foods make you feel. This is what I mean by walking. Get the information – do your own trial and error experimentation – and then you’re ready to hit the ground running.

One fundamental premise of balanced nutrition is to simplify your life. Look for a simplified nutritional plan that works for you. What’s so complicated about a balanced plate filled with veggies, healthy proteins, and healthy fats? The experimentation comes with investigating what proportions of these foods work for you. Do you need more veggies, less protein? More protein, less veggies? In either case, don’t forget the healthy fats such as olive oil, coconut oil, and avocados, etc.

For more information on nutritional balance, listen in to my FREE teleseminar Monday, January 16^th. Register NOW and be part of this month’s Motivational Marathon! I’m but 1 of 46 speakers on a huge array of topics. Wowee — powerful opportunity! Catch you next week….

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We’ll get into these subjects more deeply in the posts to come, but for now, it’s time to put our best foot forward on a favorite subject of mine – motivation. I want you to get motivated to the max!

What motivates you? What keeps you moving forward?

If you’re not sure and/or want brand spanking new ideas, here’s a GREAT place to start. I’m taking part in an amazing Motivational program called –

Happy YOU Year – Motivation Marathon!

From January 14th through the 22nd, we’ll provide an amazing opportunity. This program features 46 fabulous speakers over the course of 9 fun-filled days! This course is valued at over $1200 as these speakers have been featured on CNN, the Oprah Network, WebMD, Newsweek, Fox, etc. You want to hear the best from the best, right?

And, here’s the truly amazing part. This Motivation Marathon is free. Did you hear that? Absolutely FREE!!!

Register for this amazing event and grab your free Happy YOU Year ebook. Motivation awaits, so register now!

Motivation Marathon.

Tell me how you’re going to use the information you glean from this powerful and informative event!

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Fill ‘er up!

I remember oil company commercials where a happy-go-lucky gas station attendant would leap to service at the sight of a customer. With a tip of his spotless white hat, he’d wait for the driver of the car to roll down her window, and he’d ask, “Fill ‘er up, Ma’am?”

I often think of that “fill ‘er up” concept when I consider the principles of wellness.

It would be so interesting if we could visually “see” what fills each of us up. There’s more than just the food we eat, you know. There are thoughts and emotions as well as what we take in through the environment. What fills us? Twinkies, pesticides and frustration? Fresh veggies and optimism?

The fill ‘er up choice is yours.

Tracking what we eat and what we think is one way to get a good idea of what we’re “made of.” Food diaries can be very enlightening. I’ve been surprised myself to find that things that I thought I consumed “once in a while” were far more of a staple than I thought. A food diary is a good thing. It’s not about looking for situations where you’ve been “bad.” It’s about finding opportunities for you to improve and help your body to heal.

Tracking what we think is a bit more tricky. It’s common to have mostly negative thoughts and be mostly unaware of them. That’s very poor grammar, but I’m sure you get the gist.

Rewards can follow from simply being more aware of your thoughts. When we’re aware of what we’re thinking, we’re more likely to steer our thoughts in a positive direction.

An interesting connection to note is that unhealthier diets tend to foster unhealthier thoughts. Eating a wide variety of fresh vegetables is cleansing for the mood as well as for the body.

In any case, consider what “fills you up” this week and be ready to make changes in the New Year. We’ll discuss making a happy and healthy goals list next week.

For now — sit back, relax, and take care!

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This time of year stirs up a variety of moods. For many, the 24 days of December that precede Christmas are like an emotional rollercoaster.

– We experience feelings of pain and loss for those who live far away.
– We experience hurts and sadness from behaviors of those nearby.
– We experience increased pressure to “do it all” and “be jolly” while we do it.
– We experience increased financial pressure.
– We experience increased time/energy pressure.
– We experience increased commitment/activity pressure.
– We experience increased poor food choice temptations (which lead to mood/pain issues).

The bottom line is that while stressful activities increase, we’re not quick to balance them out with helpful relaxation and healing activities.

As always, balance is the key.

To stop the roller coaster lifestyle, schedule some or all of the following activities for the weeks ahead. Remember that if it’s not a scheduled priority, it doesn’t happen!

Practice deep breathing exercises
Pray (after all, isn’t that what this season is all about?)
Meditate – take time for yourself and your thoughts
Get a massage
Take a hot bath
Practice EFT or MTT
Make time for lunch or tea with a friend
Write a long gratitude letter to a friend or loved one
Exercise (within your personal limits) every day
Rest as needed – make a regular bedtime a priority
Be sure to have healthy/healing foods on hand
Forgive others for their shortcomings and most of all – forgive yourself!

What’s your favorite self-care activity? Tell me!

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