Encourage or Discourage?
August 30, 2010 by Sue Ingebretson

I love Labs. Who doesn’t? A Labrador is one of the happiest, most companionable dogs on the planet. I’ve had a few Labs in my life and one characteristic they shared was that they loved the water with wild abandon.

I don’t share that love at all, in fact I’m water phobic.

Not to worry, I handle baths okay, but other than that, I have strict water rules. No lakes, rivers, or oceans (too many unknowns and variables). Some pools are okay depending on their cling-able edge to middle abyss ratio. I also fret about the areas surrounding the pool. Too much furniture/cement and not enough lawn leads to danger. At parties, there’s potential for over-crowding and accidental bumpings. Just too risky.

Many years ago, I frequented a family home with a pool and built-up a comfort level. I even paddled around a few times. My Lab didn’t share my hesitation. If the door wasn’t opened fast enough, she’d go right through the screen to leap into the pool, fur flying and tongue hanging out.

With her stamina and the love of water, she’d be a perfect lifeguard, right? Wrong!

She was fine swimming alone, but not with anyone else. She jumped in after me once and nearly killed me. She barked, whined, and clawed at me forcing me underwater over and over. I tried to get her to stop pawing at me, but it was hard to yell and gasp for air at the same time. Fortunately, I finagled my freedom and climbed to the safety of the pool deck.

I’ve seen the same weird phenomenon happen in chronic illness support groups and on social networking pages. One person says, “Hey, things are going well for me.” Then another feels compelled to reply that things are not great, and then more chime in. A virtual dog pile of negativity with no lifeguard in site.

In an attempt to “look” supportive, they’re not really supportive at all.

It’s a curious occurrence that comments are sometimes more negative than positive. Maybe people don’t think to say something positive? Or maybe negative comments feel more important or necessary under the guise of being constructive?

In any case, I’d like you to consider making an effort to brighten someone’s day today. Consciously choose to think positively, to speak positively.

Lift up a hurting friend and say something helpful. Write a positive message on your favorite social networking site. Write a supportive blogpost comment. Send a positive email.

Even a sticky note will do.

If you haven’t done so already, view Lisa’s video for her “Each One Can Reach One” Campaign for the upcoming Invisible Illness week 2010: http://invisibleillnessweek.com/

When it comes to choosing negative or positive things to say, the health benefits of positive comments wins every time. It’s more than a positive attitude. It’s choosing a positive way of life — choosing to encourage rather than discourage.

In a weird way, I think my Lab was trying to encourage me in the swimming pool. I think paddling over and around me was how she demonstrated her concern for my safety. I could have done with a little less concern.

Have you ever witnessed a dog pile of negativity? Maybe you’ve even wondered if you should have done something. Here’s your opportunity to remedy that. DO something today. Play “lifeguard” in your relationships with others, and make a lasting, positive impression.

Posted in Choosing, Educating, Encourage, Hope, Positive, Thoughts, chronic illness | 4 Comments | Tagged , , , ,


Mind Over Mutter
August 24, 2010 by Sue Ingebretson

If we spoke every thought and worry throughout the day, we’d mutter an unending stream of words from dawn to dusk. Imagine how destructive that would be!

Think of telling a coffee shop server you’ve never met, “You look like something the cat dragged in. I bet you haven’t slept in a week!” What would that do to your odds of getting your coffee fast and with a smile?

There’s a reason why we have the capacity to think before we speak. Take that a step further — we also have the capacity to choose what to think in the first place. It takes time and patience, but re-training how we think has beneficial effects on how we feel.

You may already know this, but many of your thoughts are not helpful. Negative inner chatter is common. Thoughts swing wildly from if I’d just get up five minutes earlier, then I’d get to work on time to I can’t do anything right! Having negative thoughts isn’t the problem; it’s the ratio of negative to positive thoughts that’s the problem. When nearly all your thoughts are negative and they flow in a constant stream, your body is sure to react.

It’s no wonder we don’t always feel our best.

There’s a consistent mind and body connection. When we’re in a good mood, we feel it, physically, too. When we’re in a bad mood, we may experience headaches, cramps, nausea, fatigue, digestive upset, etc.

To curb negative thinking, take action! Follow these preliminary steps:

1)      Be aware. Pay attention to your negative thoughts. Write them down. List the words and phrases you hear the most. When looking at your list, what falsehoods do you find? The negative messages we repeat to ourselves are often untrue.

2)      For each negative thought you’ve written down, think of a positive, and more accurate statement to counteract it. For example, replace I always say the wrong thing, with I have valuable and important things to say. By replacing negative statements with positive ones you’re prepared for the next time you begin to think negatively.

3)      At the first inkling of a negative thought, create a physical response. Tell your thought process to STOP by taking a deep breath (connecting the mind and body) and then replace your negative thought with a positive one. This step creates a powerful physical reaction to your thoughts and provides a stopping point for the spinning thoughts that can trap you into negative thinking.

4)      Add a repertoire of positive statements to your daily thoughts with cards, notes, and lists. Write down positive phrases, quotes, Bible verses, etc., that are meaningful to you. Keeping these positive messages around will help to re-frame your thoughts in a positive direction.

With practice, you can move forward with reducing and then eliminating negative inner chatter. How you think has everything to do with how you feel. So why not think your way toward feeling your best?

Do you have favorite thoughts, phrases, quotes or verses? Share them with the rest of us here!

Posted in Choosing, Educating, Healing, Stress, Thoughts, patience | 7 Comments | Tagged , , , ,


ME: The Movie
August 17, 2010 by Sue Ingebretson

Have you ever wanted to be a screen writer or movie director? There’s something exciting about creating a story and seeing it to fruition.

To become your own movie maker, follow this exercise (no worries, you don’t even need to get up from your chair). Exercise your imagination. Step out on a limb, and think about your own life as a movie – ME: The Movie.

Using creative license to portray your future in film, what does it look like? Think of the snapshots within the movie. Imagine yourself doing the things you’d like to do, and here’s the caveat: Imagine them as if you lived with no pain, no physical restrictions. Take some time to fully develop your snapshots. Make vivid thoughts of the scenes you’ve created. Imagine how you look, feel, and move. Are you happy? Agile? Worry-free?

Write down a description of these snapshots. Maybe you envision travel … grabbing your passport and seeing the world. Maybe you envision heading to the classroom; going back to school to get the education that interests you. Or, maybe you envision being more active with your family, playing sports, or simply having enough energy for daily life.

Each snapshot is YOU without health worries.

Now, I’d like you to pick one particular snapshot from your, ME: The Movie. Let’s say it’s a snapshot of you traveling the world. When you think of that image, go beyond what you see. What do you feel – and most importantly – what are your thoughts?

Take a moment to write down the thoughts that occur to you as a pain-free, worry-free person. What does it feel like to live within a healthy, strong body and how does that affect what you’re thinking? Do you have hopeful thoughts about your future? About your abilities and capabilities? Can you see yourself setting positive future goals?

Our thoughts and perceptions of who we are and what we’re capable of govern our every action. If you truly participated in the above exercise, you should have a list of thoughts and goals that come from the “hope-filled” rather than the “hope-less” part of your brain. Review them. Analyze them.

Let’s dig a little deeper. Again, using travel as a “for instance,” what is it about travel that interests you? Can you take part in any of that experience right now? What about renting travel DVDs? If you reject the idea because sitting on your couch isn’t the same as riding the Metro in Paris, you’re missing the point. Think of it from the “hope-filled” angle. You’re learning more about, and experiencing sights of a desired travel destination. The “hope-less” feeling comes from setting your own limitation. You DON’T know what your future holds.

I understand that planning for the future and setting goals when we’re concerned about chronic illness is difficult. But don’t forecast rain in your future based on today’s clouds. Changes we make today affect all of our tomorrows.

We often link the thought of “hope” with a miracle or some huge life-changing experience. But that’s not reality. Hope stems from the small steps we take each day. What if the healthier decision you made at lunch started a lifetime of healthy mealtime decisions? What if taking a walk instead of watching TV after dinner led to a changed nighttime routine and improved physical strength? What if these small but regular changes led to a healthier you?

Add up your small incremental hopeful actions and what do you get? The miracle you were looking for.

It’s now showtime! Grab a comfy seat, turn down the lights, draw back the red velvet curtain, and enjoy your own private premier of ME: The Movie.

Tell me all about it!

Posted in Acceptance, Choosing, Educating, Exercise, Fitness, Healing, Hope, Nutrition, Thoughts, chronic illness, journey, pain, patience, writing | 2 Comments | Tagged , , , , , ,


Rebuilding Wellness
August 9, 2010 by Sue Ingebretson

Embarking on a journey can be both frightening and exciting. When the journey is about health — your own health — you may feel that the frightening far outweighs the exciting.

If you’re someone who’s chronically ill, consider your current status: Are you where you want to be? Do you feel satisfied with your level of wellness? Few would answer “yes” to that question. Understanding the health journey process goes a long way toward removing the “frightening factor,” and that’s where the following illustration helps.

When I describe what I call the Rebuilding Wellness concept at speaking engagements, I tell it this way. Think about fixing up a home. Maybe it appears rundown; the eves sag, the paint has peeled, and the once-green lawn has gone beige. Nothing that some operating sprinklers and a new coat of paint can’t fix.

But, if you put some thought into it before the elbow grease, a home that has visible problems might have others, too. It could have problems that aren’t visible, bigger ones beneath the warped siding. What if the roof leaks or the plumbing is bad. Even worse, what if the foundation has cracks – serious cracks. Would slapping on a coat of exterior paint suffice as the ultimate remedy then?

Our health issues are the same way. By the time symptoms appear on the surface, the problems that caused them have already run amok elsewhere. Chronic illness takes time to manifest. It stands to reason that the application of solutions will be no quick fix.

So, where to begin? Consider the type of “cracks” that are affecting your foundation: nutritional deficiencies, extreme stress, toxin exposure (internal and external), infections, injuries, and/or hormonal/thyroid dysfunction. Take a look at what you think affects you most. Begin an action plan to remedy these problems and fortify your “home.”

Tackling these “cracks” one at a time is a big job, but I promise, Rebuilding Wellness is always a worthwhile investment.

Posted in Educating, Healing, Nutrition, Stress, Toxins, chronic illness, journey, patience | 6 Comments | Tagged , , , , , , , , ,


Is Your Ache All In Your Head?
August 2, 2010 by Sue Ingebretson

While wogging this morning (walking a little/jogging a little), I had a thought. Exercise does that to me. It helps me do a bit of mental cave spelunking.

Today, I thought about pain levels.

It was an unusually humid day for SoCal standards: pitifully blechy outside. And since humidity is a common trigger for increased pain, I thought, “Hmm, I should feel more pain in my joints today.” I began to focus on how my knees felt with each step. I then became aware of my hip joints. I realized that I did feel more pain; I was achy-er than usual.

But wait! Before I noticed the humidity level, was I achy then? Not that I’d noticed. It wasn’t until I had the thought that I should feel achy did I “decide” that I did.

That led me to think about other times I’ve spent in humid climates. For many years, my hubby worked in Hawaii. I went as often as my schedule allowed; it was a fabulous place for me to write. In fact, much of my book, FibroWHYalgia, was written there, as well as many children’s stories. For me, nothing gets the creative juices flowing like ocean breezes and the scent of plumerias. While hubby worked, my job was to write. Great gig if you ask me.

Hawaiian humidity has never bothered me. There’s always a gentle breeze and what’s not to like? As far as I can remember, it has never triggered a flare of any kind. I travel to the Midwest, too. I do notice the humidity there. I feel fatigued, tightness in my neck/shoulders, and a tightness in my chest as if it’s harder to breathe

Of course, it’s not fair to compare a tropical vacation to a family visit (no matter how much you love to see your family). It’s not the same thing, relaxation-wise, and your body knows it. But when it comes to increased pain, why bring it on? Who’s in charge of your expectations, and who gets to write your own predictions?

Pay attention to Prediction Phrases such as, “I always end up in a flare after a visit from my Mother-In-Law,” or “I always get a migraine after shopping at the mall.” If you’re going to take the time to make a prediction, why not something like, “I predict that I’ll get a great night’s sleep after I chaperone the all-day scouting event.”

Your own predictions are yours to dream up. Why not make ‘em good?

I challenge you, write down five positive Prediction Phrases this week, and let me know how they turn out. I love hearing from you!

Posted in Exercise, Fitness, Thoughts, fibromyalgia, flares, muscle, pain, writing | 10 Comments | Tagged , , , , , ,


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